one time i worked as a janitor.

phoenix

so i got a gig working as a janitor in phoenix. i wasn't really sure what i was getting myself into, but it sounded like a good idea. i get flown out to phoenix, put up in a hotel, make some bucks. regardless, it is only ten days.

 i'm working for an event planning company at the nba jam session. it's a neat little event with a bunch of booths set up where people can slam dunk and shoot hoops and win fabulous prizes. the celebrity game was held here, and through the week a plethora of celebrities made appearences signing autographs and what not. if  i were 12 years old and not working as a janitor it would have been a wonderful time. 

overall, this experience has been much like drill weekends when i was in the army reserve. a lot of people with not a lot of work, inefficancy, silly hours, complaining, and walking around trying to look busy. my main responsibility is to keep the floor clean. 

my main adversary is the goldfish cracker. yes, those cheese-nip esque snacks shaped like goldfish. there is a goldfish tent set up handing out water bottles and free samples of the snack. for some reason, people have a hard time not dropping and crushing their goldfish crackers. i'd say that it is about a fifty fifty split between crackers ending up in stomachs and on the floor. i use a "hokey" to clean these messes, a carpet vaccum. other tools i use include a backpack battery powered vaccum, broom and dustpan, rag, giant trash compacter named "cram a lot", dust mop,garbage bags, and walkie talkie.

i spend the vast majority of the day walking around, sweeping up pretzal salt and crackers and white specks from the carpet. i'll hear things on the radio like, "can someone with a hokey head up to kids zone." then i'll go there and sweep up some cracker crumbs.

i'll do this for twelve hours. my feet get sore.

at the end of the night we do an overall cleanup, with an added emphasis on emptying the garbages.

on the plus side i met some cool people, and worked with a group of local laborers from guatemala and mexico. since they spoke essentially no english i got to serve as a translator of sorts. i enjoy speaking spanish. it makes me a nicer, simpler person, as i don't have the luxury of an extensive vocabulary. for instance, since i didn't know to say "corners" in spanish, i say to sweep the narrow paths. i didn't know what to call the orange stanchions, i say the places where people stand in lines. i really enjoyed working with them though. they were very kind and hardworking, very unassuming and humble. i found it touching that one of the females saved all the markers she found while cleaning under the bleachers to give to her baby, and another wanted to take home gatorade towels that were thrown out because the were used to soak up, gatorade.

my hotel is in downtown phoenix. the weather is a little chilly at times but overall sunny and pretty warm. unfortunatley working from 2 pm to 2 am i don't see much of the sun. overall phoenix seems pretty characterless and sterile. it's very nice and new and clean, but i didn't find any areas that i found to be awesome. i'll admit that i don't know anyone here and haven't really looked too hard. they have a light rail which is awesome. ang and i took it to tempe, supposedly where the nightlife is. we went there during the day and went down mill ave. it was alright, though it seemed a bit generic.

here's some things i've learned here:

1. being on your feet all day sucks.

2. going in the hotel hot tub after being on your feet all day is nice.

3. when you are a janitor, people either don't look at you or look through you.

4. george muresan is huge.

5. after a few days, the semi sweet wretched smell of fresh trash isn't all that disgusting. getting wetness on your skin from a bag of garbage is always disgusting.

6. people who make money are really interested in money. those who have it, along with power, dangle money and compliments and promises in front of people like carrots. before you get the carrot it's replaced with a bigger carrot and a longer string. you can either chase it or plant your own.

7. i would prefer never to hear beyonce's single ladies song again.

8. people have a very hard time putting goldfish crackers in their mouths.

goldfish fest 2k9

i imagine few understand the unfettered joy i feel when i eye up a perfect goldfish cracker lying motionless on smooth, blue carpeting. unlike most of his brethren, this goldfish is complete. he has not been smashed and crushed and speckled about the carpeting by errant footsteps or a toddler's mandible. he is the new flavor blasted goldfish cracker, kickin' ranch. if he had not landed on the floor someone would have found him quite delicious. i smile inside as my carpet sweeper swallows him whole, leaving a nice patch of smooth flat blue carpeting, ready for another goldfish cracker to fall.

sturgeon bay

squiggly lucy.

sturgeon bay.

travels continue. after a wicked time in new orleans we headed back home. i settled into a state of benign indifference at the 'rent's home, with alternating periods of severe alienation and fear of the future and complete happiness in laziness. i watched a lot of television and movies, ran on the treadmill, delivered pizzas, and ate food and drank beers. 

we went to sturgeon bay for a weekend to visit friends and the lucy. lucy is a beagle ang and i took care of for about eight months and is now watched by our friends. she is a squiggly little pup.

door county is nice. maybe a bit out there to live permanently but certainly a good place to visit, even in winter. we went on a little hike over a frozen canal, an experience that gave me a bit of trepidation. i respect nature, i don't mess with it too much. i don't like going too fast over water or down mountains, or going too high or too far under water. these are places i am not meant to be. walking on a frozen over lake while it is sunny and warm still frightened me a bit. sure, there were cars and snowmobiles going over it, and i was certain it wouldn't break. but still, it just felt odd, but not in a bad way i suppose.

sturgeon bay is also nice because you can order three bloody marys and a beer for like twelve  dollars.

i'm presently in phoenix working as a janitor. this i'll explain later.